


Getting the D

by janonny, peppypear



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, First Meetings, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Public Humiliation, Public Speaking, Second-Hand Embarrassment, What happens when a Pear writes with a Jaybirb, What happens when jokes on Discord get out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 07:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janonny/pseuds/janonny, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppypear/pseuds/peppypear
Summary: To avoid failing a college class, Tony has to give a public presentation at the Stark Expo. Things go awry when Tony spots his crush, Steve Rogers, in the front row, and can’t get his head out of the gutter.“With every generation, Stark Industries continues to push the envelope in the same direction: Foreplay-” Tony winced. “...Forward.”





	Getting the D

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as a result of a Discord discussion around tips for public speaking, where the two of us, along with **willidothefandango** and **franzwantscoffee** , had a very fun discussion that resulted in porny puns and innuendos. This is for you, Fan and Franz! And thank you so much to **athletiger** for the super fast beta-reading! :D 
> 
> Peppypear: Jay brought the magic with all the lovely thirst descriptions. This was a fun collab! 
> 
> Janonny: Pear did all the heavy lifting and the bulk of the writing, while I just filled in the gaps. This has probably been the easiest writing experience for me! XD

“What do you mean, I’m failing?” Tony asked, aghast.

“You missed your final presentation, Mister Stark. That’s an automatic failing grade,” Professor Xavier said.  

“Bullshit,” Tony said, “you know I'm light years ahead of everybody at this school. Are you really gonna fail me for missing one little presentation?” Tony widened his eyes as much as possible and tried to go for a piteous expression. 

Looking as prim as ever in his starchy shirt and dark vest, Professor Xavier knuckled at his brow. “It was your final and main presentation for the semester. Everyone was told that it was a failing grade for those who didn’t present.”

Huh. Tony did vaguely remember Xavier saying something to that effect at the start of term, but his memories of that day were pretty hazy. He hadn't  _ meant _ to come into his first class epically hungover, but the engineering school threw wicked parties. 

Tony shrugged. “I missed the presentation because I got caught up doing the final touch-ups for my fusion based reactor. You know how that happens, especially when the Dean was all over me trying to get me to finish it up as soon as possible so we can publish the results in this year’s scientific journal.” Tony lounged back in his seat with a roguish grin. “Don’t you want to be the college that fostered development of the world’s first clean energy generator?”

Unbelievably, Professor Xavier remained unmoved in the face of Tony’s brilliant arguments. “I’m sorry, but we can’t make exceptions just because it slipped your mind to attend the main presentation of the semester. Unless you find a way to make up for it, I’m afraid you’ll be getting a D.” 

“Hmph. I’m sure there’s  _ something _ I can do the make up for the grade.” Tony batted his eyelashes theatrically, giving the patented smolder that had made him so infamous among the student populace.

Professor Xavier rolled his eyes. “That look might work on your co-eds, but it’s not going to work on me.”

Tony slumped back into his seat with a huff. “Well, it was worth a try. So, what can I do to make up for the grade?”

Steepling his fingers, Professor Xavier gave Tony an assessing look before finally speaking up again, “A presentation for a presentation. You have to make up for it in a public presentation, one that isn’t just for our class.”

“What did you have in mind? You want me to set up a stage in the Boston Common and give my final presentation to a bunch of buskers and homeless people?” That seemed simple enough and could be achieved in less than an afternoon. Tony gave another winning smile, hoping Professor Xavier would go for it.

“I had something else in mind,” Professor Xavier said as he handed his tablet over to Tony. On the screen was a digital poster for the Stark Expo.

Tony stared, dumbfounded. “You’re kidding me.”

“On the contrary, Mister Stark, I take the development of my students very seriously,” Professor Xavier replied with hint of a smile. “Who better to present at the Stark Expo than Tony Stark himself?”

It sounded like a terrible idea. 

“Isn’t there something else I can do?” Tony pressed. “Can’t I make up the presentation another day? Or do a test? Write a paper? Come on, Chuck… can I call you Chuck?”

“No, you may not,” Professor Xavier said firmly. “And I’m afraid my word on this is final. Do the presentation or take the failing grade. It’s your choice.”

\--

“I can’t believe he’s making me do this,” Tony grumbled. 

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “You’ve been complaining about this for weeks. We are literally standing here in the middle of the Stark Expo, and you’re still saying the same shit. If you had picked up your phone when I called you for your  _ actual _ presentation–”

“I’m a free spirit, I answer phone calls when I want to answer them,” Tony said loftily. 

“Yeah, you’re a free spirit who is finally getting out there and talking about your project so that you can stop complaining about doing a presentation you could do in your sleep,” Rhodey replied, trying to usher Tony towards the curtains and avoiding the people rushing around backstage.

“But you love listening to my witty complaints, kookaburra,” Tony said, looping an arm around Rhodey’s neck and slowing down their progress considerably by dragging his feet. “And how do you know I could do this presentation in my sleep? Maybe I’ve changed, maybe I don’t like doing presentations anymore, maybe I have stage fright.”

Rhodey curled an arm around Tony’s waist and lifted him up to carry him the rest of the way to the back of the curtains. “Sure you do, Tony, sure.”

“My knight in shining armor,” Tony said with glee, making sure he hung like a deadweight from Rhodey’s arm. 

Rhodey unceremoniously dropped him on his feet at the curtains and unwrapped Tony’s arm from around his shoulders. He spun Tony around so he was facing the back of the curtains. 

“If you’re suddenly developing stage fright, well… just imagine everyone in the audience is naked,” Rhodey said, giving Tony’s shoulders a squeeze. 

“What kind of dumb ad–” And Tony was pushed out through the curtains into the spotlight. “–vice and hello, everyone!”

\--

The bright lights and endless sea of faces were disorienting, but Tony recovered his bearings with aplomb. Presentations were nothing new for him. Being the son of Howard Stark meant growing up in the limelight, his every word and expression documented for the masses in excruciating detail. Tony had coped with the scrutiny by not caring if he looked like a fool sometimes. 

But the moment he spied Steve Rogers in the front row of the Stark Expo, Tony knew without a doubt that he was in for a public humiliation like never before.

_ Shit! I didn't know he was going to be here! _ Tony swallowed hard, trying to get his racing thoughts under control. He'd been crushing on Steve since freshman year, ever since Steve had walked his well-formed ass into the lecture hall.

But it wasn’t until one afternoon in a coffee shop that Tony’s feelings had tipped over from simple thirst to all out pining. The assertive way Steve had behaved, firm and yet protective, it had been so… overwhelming.

It wasn’t fair how Steve could be hot  _ and _ nice. Damn, look at Steve sitting there with his back straight, staring up at Tony with so much attentiveness in his clear blue eyes, it was enough to make anyone sweat under the weight of such thoughtful expectation. Steve’s face, with a jawline that could be traced with a ruler, was like the work of engineering perfection. Even his nose was beautiful and Tony didn’t even know that it was possible for noses to be beautiful. Fuck, he was getting distracted, he was getting distracted by Steve’s nose, of all things, what even was his life. 

“I'm glad to cum- I mean, I'm glad you all could come.” Tony flushed at the slip-up. That was unusual; he never got tongue-tied when he was on stage. 

His eyes darted to Steve to see if he'd noticed.

It didn't seem like he had. Instead, Steve had folded his arms, which made his shirt pull tight across the solid planes of his chest. And what an amazing chest that was. How did that shirt even contain those marvellous pectorals? Tony could imagine that they would make great pillows to lie against, firm and warm against his cheek. As for those biceps... he could practically see the shirt straining around those hard, sizeable biceps even from this distance. God, they must be great to squeeze. 

At this point, Tony was just talking on auto-pilot, even as his brain continued to fantasize about Steve’s biceps. “Ever since my father set up the company, Stark Industries has positioned itself on the cutting edge of technology. Scientific advancement for the betterment of all humankind has always been our mission.” 

There were appreciative murmurs from the crowd at the mention of Howard. Tony wanted to roll his eyes, but he kept his professional mask on. He couldn’t control how his gaze kept slipping to Steve–gosh, it was so embarrassing, it wasn’t like Tony was trying to get his approval or anything–

Steve licked his lips. 

...And Tony’s mind went blank. Gulping, he forced himself to continue. “With every generation, Stark Industries continues to push the envelope in the same direction: Foreplay-” Tony winced. “...Forward.”

That garnered a few titters from the audience. This was starting off brilliantly. Tony could sense himself starting to panic. As he scrambled to gather his thoughts, Rhodey's advice was the first thing that popped in his head: 

_ “Just imagine everyone in the audience is naked.” _

Tony fought the urge to smirk as he imagined the ridiculous scenario. Yes, picturing the whole audience naked was great advice for relieving tension with a bit of amusement. Look, there was Professor Xavier, not so starchy and formal now that he was all naked, and there was prissy Justin Hammer, hah, his nude scrawny body would be a hoot and a half. Tony could feel himself relaxing as he imagined rows of naked people, everyone sitting at full attention, completely naked, including…oh no, oh no, he shouldn’t…

Tony’s eyes fell on Steve and all he saw in his mind’s eye was pale bare skin and broad, strong shoulders completely free from a stitch of clothing. The way his chest would be pushed together because of his crossed arms, biceps framing those impressive, delectable curves, tempting anyone to just bite down on them. And Tony would be able to see delicate light pink nipples, tight in the cold air, just waiting for someone to nip at them, soothe them with a tongue. 

Oh god, Tony was about to have a brain aneurysm. There was no way he'd get through the rest of the presentation without making a complete idiot of himself in front of Steve. 

“S- so let me present the latest prototype.” Tony hastily cued one of the prepared slides to take the attention off himself.

The crowd oohed as a life-sized hologram of a hover car appeared on the stage. Taking advantage of the distraction, Tony tried to use the opening to reorganize his thoughts. But it was no use. 

The floodgates had been opened and there was no getting images of naked Steve and what he could do with a naked Steve out of his head. Those large firm pecs leading to a trim narrow waist. He wondered what Steve’s nipples would look like after they had been bitten and sucked on. He would bet that they would darken to a lovely rosy shade if Tony sucked and nibbled on them for long enough, that they would be springy and tight under his tongue.

"And so our latest prototype has a bunch of new… uh… nipples… no! I mean features!" Tony’s face felt like it was on fire. This was turning into a disaster. It was like a switch in his brain was flipped, releasing an endless stream of double entendres that Tony was helpless to control: 

"The amazing new pecs, I mean pecs, no, I mean SPECS."

"To break it down to the nuts and balls… Balls? No, nuts and bolts!"

“The relationship between ass and safety... MASS and safety!”

“This cooling system will jack off the efficiency… I meant jack up! Jack up the efficiency!”

"This is based on the cock–I MEAN COEFFICIENT."

“According to the G-spot measurements- sorry! G-force measurements...” 

“Featuring an experimental new self-lub….lube…lubricating system…”

“As you can see, this prototype is the cutting edge of orgasmic design–organic design! Not orgasms!”

By this time, whispers and giggles were arising from the crowd. The back of Tony’s collar was thoroughly soaked by sweat, but he gritted his teeth. 

He thought it was his imagination, but Steve had a concerned look on his face. Great, not only did Steve think Tony was a total creep, he probably was wondering if Tony was batshit insane as well.

It was mortifying, but Tony had no more brain cells left to care. He had to get through this. Only a bit more.

“Alright, that's all, thank you penis–PEOPLE! I MEAN PEOPLE!" Tony staggered off the stage and into the calming darkness of the stage wings.

It was over. All he wanted was to bury himself in a hole where he couldn't embarrass himself in front of Steve anymore. Did he really say ‘cock’ and ‘balls’ during his presentation? What the everloving fuck? Tony groaned in utter horror, looking up to see Rhodey standing there with a confusing mix of shock and commiseration on his face. Tony whimpered and reached out to him.  

“Well… that sure was something,” Rhodey said as Tony threw himself into his arms. “There, there.”

Tony burrowed deeper into Rhodey’s arms as his best friend patted him on the shoulder. This was awful. Making a fool of himself on stage in front of a huge crowd and on national television was one thing, making a fool of himself in front of Steve was a thousand times worse.

\--

In an effort to cheer Tony up, Rhodey brought him to a late night diner to get cheeseburgers. Tony was deeply engrossed in drowning his sorrows with meat and cheese, when a familiar voice rang out.

“Hey, I thought you did a great job at the Expo.”

Tony looked up and choked. Standing in front of their table, large as life, was Steve, smiling in a way that was nervously expectant.

Tony made a horrified sound halfway between a squeak and a groan.

From his position next to Steve, Bucky let out a loud sigh and met Rhodey’s gaze; an identical long-suffering look passed between the two of them. 

Rhodey clapped Tony on the shoulder. “I'm gonna go check out the table over there with Barnes.”

“Honeybear, don't leave me…” Tony whined.

Bucky smirked. “Have fun, you two.”

“We’ll just leave you  _ penis people _ alone,” Rhodey said with a grin and a wave.

“I’ve changed my mind, you can go, I hate you,” Tony said, crossing his arms in a sulk.  

Despite those words, Tony watched with trepidation as Rhodey and Bucky walked away, leaving him alone with the one person in the entire campus that he actually wanted to impress but had completely failed to do so. He considered leaping out of the booth and parkouring his way out of the diner, but that wouldn’t work since he didn’t actually know any parkour. 

After a moment of awkward silence, Steve slipped into Rhodey’s recently vacated seat. “So, I just wanted to say… great work.”

Oh god, Steve was still wearing that same white T-shirt that had to be a size too small for him. The breadth of his shoulders was even more amazing from up-close, and Tony could just imagine how firm they would feel beneath his hands, if Tony was clinging onto him, if Tony was just sliding his hands down to that chest…

It wasn’t just Steve’s body that was amazing though. His face was a work of art as well. Tony had spent many long hours admiring Steve from afar, but this was the first time he could really take in Steve’s azure blue eyes that were staring at him in a soft gaze from such a close distance. They were framed by lovely blonde lashes that Tony imagined would flutter perfectly if Tony was to lean in for just one kiss…

Okay, that was enough. Tony had already made a big fool of himself on stage, he didn’t need to be a creeper with Steve sitting right in front of him.   

Tony set down his burger before he could drip any sauce on himself and lower Steve’s opinion of him even further. “You don’t need to sugarcoat it. I totally messed it up.”

“Definitely not. It was a great presentation.” Steve responded, his voice and expression earnest and sincere. “You’re an engaging speaker and you sounded really knowledgeable.”

Tony felt like bashing his head against the table. “Are we talking about the same presentation? The one where I said like a million inappropriate things on stage in front of everyone and their smartphones?”

Steve chuckled. “It wasn't that bad. I thought it was kind of endearing.”

The praise was making Tony nervous all over again. “You did?”

“Yeah… I mean…” Steve hesitated. For the first time ever, he looked uncertain as he glanced down to his hands folded on the table before looking up again with a slight frown on his brow. “Do you remember that time you went to the cafe around the corner, the first semester you were here?”

“Uh…” Tony blinked owlishly, trying to remember which time Steve was referring to. The cafe was one of his favorite haunts, not just for their tasty coffee but… well, if Steve liked hanging out there too that was entirely coincidental!

“That day you ordered coffee but you forgot your wallet.” Steve supplied as a reminder.

Tony winced. That time. It didn't seem fair how Steve always seemed to catch him during his most embarrassing periods.

With a sheepish grin, Steve continued. “Then the barista made a rude comment, something about Starks not having enough cash. You were standing there with your hair clumped in tufts, completely messy, you had some black smudge on your cheek and you looked so tired, but you totally ripped a new one in the barista. You were obviously having a bad time of it, but you were still able to hold your composure together. Your presentation today reminded me of that.” 

Surprised, Tony nodded. “You remember that?”  

“Yeah, I recognized you because we were in a class together back in freshman year. I wanted to talk to you for the longest time, but I didn't know how...” Steve said wistfully. “It was a really nice ass.” 

Tony’s mouth dropped open.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Class! I meant class! Not that you don't have a…” Steve flushed pink. “Ah… actually I’ve been meaning to ask-"

“What?” Tony felt like he knew what it was, but he couldn’t help the heat that flooded his cheeks, couldn’t help wanting to actually hear Steve say the words. 

“Would you like to go on a date?”

Tony drew in a sharp breath, feeling excitement thrumming in his veins. He bit his lower lip before slowly saying, “You left out the rest of the story.”

“What?” Steve asked, looking more nervous now. “What story?”

“The story about the coffee and my missing wallet. After I snapped at the barista and was all ready to storm off, you got up and told off the barista - about how I’m a human being and human beings can make simple mistakes like forgetting their wallets and how the barista should be ashamed. Then you put money down for my coffee and walked out.”

“Oh… right, yeah,” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That was probably too much.”

“It really wasn’t,” Tony said softly. “It was a pretty great speech, I can still remember every word.”

Steve blinked at him, looking a little flustered. “So, um, about that date…”

“That’s a yes to the date,” Tony said, unable to stop beaming at Steve now.

Which was fine, because Steve was beaming right back at him. 

\--

[A few weeks later]

Tony blinked sleepily, awakened by the soft ping that had come from his bedside table that signalled a new email. Rolling over in bed, Tony grabbed his phone and opened his inbox. A grin curled across his face. “Hey, guess what? Xavier gave me an A!”

Steve paused in the middle of trailing kisses up Tony’s spine. “For the class he was threatening to fail you for?”

“Psh, I was never in any danger of failing.” Tony turned back to Steve and rolled onto his back, looping his arms around Steve’s neck to pull him closer. He pressed one knee up gently, between Steve’s thighs, earning himself a sharp intake of breath. “But I still wound up getting a D anyway, if you know what I mean.”

Above him, Steve’s lips curved into a smile. 

Steve pressed down, rubbing his rising arousal slowly against Tony’s leg, as he tilted his head and whispered into Tony’s ear, “Let’s get you another D then.”

Tony giggled at that cheesy line before he was kissed into forgetting all his ridiculous puns. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
